aku baru 21 (ye baru tauuuu)
mengikut undang-undang, dah layak mengundi. tapi sebab lambat daftar maka aku jadik pemerhati yg layak.
ehem.
sebenarnya aku tak la memerhati sangat. sebagai seorang yg berdarah muda jiwa membara-bara (cewahhh!), aku tetap mahu ambil port sikit-sikit akan dunia politik terpusing ni.
tapi kite watlek je arrrrr. ape benda merepek siak dorang ni duk berlumba nak tunjuk diri paling mulia. gua lagi bagus arr dari korang. huhh.

ok ok ini kali perenggan serius.
ikutkan rasa, aku tak mahu ambik port dalam dunia politik jadian yang penuh dengan twisted theories. maaf aku bukan penuntut sains politik. dan ini merupakan kali pertama aku meluahkan rasa terseksa jiwa (amboiiii! kononnyeeee).

tapi...
setakat sirah Rasulullah yg pernah aku belajar dulu,
i learn the fact that people will trust you when you do things purely from your heart.
macam mana kabilah-kabilah yg bersemangat as-sabiyyah boleh kata "ha, dia ni memang patut pun jadi pengadil untuk kita letak hajarul aswad ni kat mana".
ya, pada pandangan aku yg kerdil dan masih kurang ilmu di dada ni, kita perlu seseorang yang berperibadi seperti Rasulullah untuk menjadi pemimpin. low profile tapi awesome. amboi nak guna perkataan awesome awesome jeeee :B
jadi aku tak bersetuju dgn sistem pilihanraya berparti ini. sepatutnya tukarrrr! ya tukarrr! bukan tukar kerajaan tapi tukar fundamental pemilihan sebelum menukar kerajaan. baru betul #inikalilah

dan sekiranya kamu benar-benar ingin memimpin atas dasar tanggungjawab, with pure intention, aku percaya kamu akan sedaya boleh melakukannya tanpa perlu dinaungi mana-mana parti.

mmg ramai yg berkelayakan untuk jadi pemimpin negara. yg punya kualiti keperibadian, walau tak sama tapi mungkin seakan-akan Rasulullah. mungkin masih belum dikurniakan keberanian.

cuba kita try test sekali, pilihanraya tanpa menggunakan branding parti mana kamu datang (maksudnya semua orang bertanding atas kebolehan sendiri). ehem.

ya, aku keyboard warrior yg kecut sebab tak tulis keyword untuk digugel search.
dah la. aku nak balik dunia realiti.

i am glad.
because i don't need to vote.

so...let's just see what will happen after this.


on the side note, i am really really really superbly worried about my fyp. :'(

so .. the questions still haunt me. i really have no idea why they asked me such things.
i really am not practicing husnuzhonn. this is bad bad thing. but please don't blame me for being paranoid. what would you think when those who you've always heard badmouthing your friends asked out of the blue questions? it's as if they're talking behind my back. or maybe it's just me thinking too much of such simple question. either way, it's not good.

i used to just take thing as it is. like for instance, if someone asked me private stuff, it's just a question asked and no other intention. nowadays i've started to think too much of everything. everything!

some true colors have appeared i see. backstabbers, ten faced and whatnot. i just want to be out of the picture. and that's just it.

maybe this is the punishment for me for joining people badmouthing each other.

forgive us all ya Allah.. :(
maybe i should just go back in my own world. it's more fun and peaceful.

i feel pity for those who find getting drunk is the way to get themselves happy.
escapism.
a short vacation in your own dream.
a cheap one too.
technically speaking, it does make you happy for a short while. but when you gain your senses, you'd come back to the reality. alcohol is being cruel towards you. it is more cruel than the reality you're trying to run away.

during the day, you're the most ethical and good mannered person.
at night, alcohol turned you into the person you don't even know.

though my roomates kept calling me the gossiper, i actually am not really keen on gossiping. i usually share funny or good stories. sometimes i accidentally tell ..errr.. gossip. i still am trying to lower down, or better to stop it.

me and my coursemates, we've been together for almost four years now. we aren't siblings, we don't act like one. but it's like we're big big family.

this has taught me to shut my mouth and don't say anything till i heard both sides. it's not that easy actually. the first thing you heard usually stick to your mind better than the next. i've had a schoolmate, who was really really negative. i hate the fact i used to "need" to hear all her rants. don't get me wrong. i'm fine with people ranting on things. but when you keep on ranting of how bad other people are, and you keep on having negative look on others and how great you are, i kinda have to check why should i spend so much time with you. i'm sorry that you dislike everyone in your life (except for yourself of course) but no one actually do like you.

and that has also taught me that whatever my view on people surroundings, that's how they viewed me too. i try to look at both sides of someone and to drop the negatives as much as i could. i'm not sure how people look at me. i hope it isn't thaaaaaaat baaaaaaad.

gossips are really bad. if you find good things, keep it to yourself. if it is bad, just keep it to yourself too.
by you i mean me.

here is me ranting on nothing at 4 a.m.

i'm hungry.
i can't not picture of the night each time i hear the song.
of white rose and dim lights.

and here is me, hoping to see you soon.
has it been a year?
who knows we can go this far.

May Allah forgive and bless us.

(:

i board the tram, wanting to get some food at the end of the street. standing, as usual.
a very old granny told me to sit. me, trying to show off how healthy i am, i said no.
later, after much refusal, i sat beside her. after it got empty of course.
she talked to me, of how nice the weather was that day, and some other stuff i couldn't catch.

i've no idea why grannys like to talk to me wherever i go. or maybe they do like to talk to everyone.

i miss grandma. my grandma i mean.

he said i've got a strong willpower.

i'd keep that in mind.

so... i'm back! safe and sound Alhamdulillah..

however i caught a few stuff like cold, sore throat, fever, numb toe, bloody knee and somethingicouldntsayoutloud. i've no idea why i caught so much during this trip.. missing family and partner a lot maybe..

however it was a nice trip. something different than a trip with family. of course, any trip with classmates means i;m going to break whatever mak told me before the trip. like "jgn mandi laut!" "jgn keluar malam!"

anyway, Alhamdulillah i learned a lot during the trip. pick some and drop others.

semoga Allah berkati ilmu yg dicedok sepanjang seminggu lalu :)

when trying to (sort of) give motivation, i usually try my best to use positive words rather than descriptions that might bring someone even much lower. i can say "be faithful" rather than "don't cheat". cause you know, you'd only remember the verb and drop the "don't".

i don't have many chances to explore places. this would probably be the only chance i'd have in a year or two. or forever? let's just hope for the best.

exploring places is good. you expand your horizons, you begin to understand why people acted the way they did and you'd learn that there are more to life than you had ever seen.

the pious muslims and not-really-pious ones used to have quite a big gap. in term of talking, dressing and whatnot. these days, we could see that more and more people are trying to show how not complicated it is to live as a muslim. how you can just pray anywhere and not only in designated prayer rooms or masjid. or that there are a lot of halal food than the haram ones.

with (i hope) a good intention of going, i hope that this time around, i could leave something good in someone's (or two, three, well, the more the merrier ain't it? :p) memory. like the old lady who asked "how do you actually wear it? cause i saw people wear it many ways"

maybe it's just me being too sensitive.

bismillahitawakkaltu'alallah.

i know i have too much homework that i've left for too long.
the thesis and ip.
and other subjects which i'm not too sure how much i do know about.

but here's the thing.
"9 days of holidays"

i've lost my motivation to continue thesis.
Alhamdulillah i've somehow regain it a little.
partner says i have such a strong willpower.
i don't know how strong it is.
maybe i can destroy high rise buildings with my willpower.

perhaps i haven't asked much from Allah.
so He let me astray for a while till i knock my head on the wall.
or in actual, i did knocked my head on the wall 3 times last week.
of which i don't feel pain at all.
for the record, my other sense are still working.
like how i was shocked for knocking my head in the wall.

so buckle up and jump.
cuz M i comeeeeeeeeeee!

thee hee hee :B