monologue

2012-02-10T23:48:00.002+08:00

dear diary,

i'm very tired. it feels like my body is going to fall apart soon.

i've finished malcolm series today. i'm very sad because it already ends.

i'm having the whole room for myself. it's weird and lonely.

can i say that right now i'm tired, sad and lonely?

ni penat jenis baring terus terbang. tahap macam tu hokay.

new sem again, hello new challenges. bring it on baby!

2012-02-08T22:28:00.000+08:00

oooo aku post mcm tuh terus korang komen ye. hampehgefehcembahjagalagalagala btui -.-"

2012-01-31T21:40:00.006+08:00

aku sebenarnya berkira-kira nk publish post ke tidak kerana post ini paling menggelikan serta menyegankan tapi setelah berkira-kira bahawa ini adalah blog, dan aku seorang perempuan, dan penulis blog perempuan biasanya gedik sedikit sebanyak untuk tulis perkara seperti ini, dan aku ada genetik gedik sedikit sebanyak hehehe maka aku publish jugak post ni. harap maklum~

back then, whenever he asked me out, i can't deny how nervous i felt. i remembered back than how i love to make things uncomfortable. hehehe. it's nothing mean okayyy! my sister in law was much more awesome. she made my brother called her mother straight away. hahaha. i mean, you can't give in so fast, can you?

time flies, things changed. meeting, going out, dining together or even watching movies is nothing unusual. there's no more hypothetical butterflies in the stomach or stuttered words. everything smooth like a good meringue. getting stable, more fights, more giving and taking, not much asking "oh how are you today?". we were still okay. it's just that the phase has changed and things are okay in a different way.

but The Almighty has always precedes us. things changed again and it's time to go distance. it's hard like they say. harder to experience it yourself than listening to other stories. the first time we met again, i can feel those butterflies breed in my stomach again. it was kinda weird and awkward at first since it was the longest time we were apart. like.. 6 months? more or less. we're still adjusting with the distance and busy schedule. well, i'm not always busy. him too. it's just that our schedule is different so i'm busy when he's free and vice versa. the thousands miles kept burning our pockets. for phone credits and the occasional meetings i mean.

i would say that adjusting is the hardest phase. but that's when you discover more and more about you and your other half. you keep having questions, you can't resist not knowing the answer, yet, you still have faith which keeps things going. i have an everest-sized insecure feelings about the whole things, but that wouldn't stop me from having an atlantic-sized of hopes and dreams with our ourselves. i don't know how far we will go. we still have a long way to go. i only know that we have a great prologue without an epilogue ;)

2012-01-29T23:48:00.002+08:00

taking a step back, feeling the nature, enjoying the environment.

perhaps i've been too carefree and forgot how the feeling was. there's always an opportunity cost in every step we take. for that, i've learnt that money is not everything, but everything needs money.

2012-01-29T12:30:00.002+08:00

berubah. perubahan.

untuk berubah, perlukan niat yang kuat dan semangat yang kental.

untuk berubah, perlu melepaskan beberapa perkara untuk membuka ruang pada perkara baru.

susah kalau nak berubah secara tiba-tiba.

tapi kadang-kadang, tanpa signal, kita terpaksa jugak berubah. terpaksa.

baik atau buruk perubahan tu, memang susah untuk sesuaikan diri dalam masa yang singkat.

singkat? mungkin sesaat, mungkin sepurnama, mungkin selamanya.

keliru, kecewa, resah, kehilangan.

semua terasa.

mahu berundur semula, itu pembunuh perubahan.

but if it is for a good reason, by hook or by crook, things must be changed. even if it means a grief-stricken year.

slowly.

2012-01-26T01:41:00.004+08:00

granny is in town yaww!

ehem. umum menegtahui bahawa nenek saya, apabila sudah tiba di sini, akan berkongsi pelbagai cerita. tentang sepupu saya haruslah berkaitan berlajar dan kahwin. hahaha. ok. malas nak bukak cerita. nothing interesting anyway. tapi hampir setiap hari mendengar nenek beserta abang dan kakak ipar serta abang yg tengah angau dan kakak yang mencari asyik bercerita tentang kahwin, haruslah minda saya juga terfikir tentang perkahwinan sentiasa. eeee. aku lama lagi nak kahwin la! tak sedia lagi! duit takde! keje takde! laki takde! (eh?) mungkin sepuluh tahun lagi baru aku nak kisah. right now i just wanna enjoy my life as it is. kahwin bukan satu prioriti sekarang. lelaki bukan keperluan. haa! nih kalau aku usul kat "warga atasan" wanita, haruslah mereka melatah bermacam bahasa. yang sorang dengan usulan bahawa duit banyak mana pun, kita perlukan jugak keluarga di masa hadapan. yang sorang dengan perbandingan saudara mara kahwin tak kahwin. yang sorang dengan cerita kawan-kawan dia. well, they talk from their experiences and i have nothing against them. setiap seorang betul. dan aku jugak betul. kan? alaaa.. ye kan je lah. hehe. i take things as they come. aku tak kisah part bujang, part menahan telinga tuh yang payah sikit. tapi disebabkan aku pun dah mengajar diri sendiri untuk jadi hati kering dan batu dari dulu disebabkan seringkali dibandingkan tanpa batasan dengan rakan-rakan sebaya beserta saudara-sauri sejantina, aku harap pada masa hadapan aku akan lebih tabah telinga apabila berhadapan dengan "warga atasan" wanita. heeeheeheee

2012-01-19T23:34:00.002+08:00

now that i think of it again, i have tonnes of things to accomplish this year. perhaps my alter ego had made the list that longer now. or maybe the other half has inspired me to believe in myself more than before. that's why i've to decide that my one and only resolution for new semester is :

talk the walk and walk the talk :)

for the first time ever, i'll be jotting down and crossed my so-called long lists of stuffs to be done! i hope i'll do it. hehehe

in the meantime, i'm on holiday!! i've been looking forward to it since ever! ok hiperbola gile. i mean, i want a break from the hectic semester. 3 weeks holidays of lazing around and not doing anything related to academic stuff much. felt like the holiday is pretty short but nevermind. lazing around is the only thing i'm doing bebehhh! hehehe. i haven't meet my little sunshine. she was sick a few days earlier. hope she'll come this weekend and i'll gomol her like no other. HEHEHE. le madamoiselle iz hungrayhh fer lil fella! xD

.saya yang miskin bahasa.

2012-01-13T15:51:00.002+08:00

setelah menjawab peperiksaan Principles Of Management, saya kini mengaku bahawa perbendaharaan kata saya dalam Bahasa Inggeris mahupun Bahasa Melayu, amatlah mendukacitakan. nak tahu maksud "vocabulary" dalam Bahasa Melayu pun pakai kamuslamanmini. sungguh memalukan. saya berazam untuk meningkatkan teknik penggunaan bahasa yang betul di samping memperkayakan Bahasa Melayu dan Bahasa Inggeris saya pada masa akan datang, baik dari segi penulisan mahupun percakapan. saya juga harus meningkatkan keyakinan dalam menyuarakan pendapat secara tersusun dan lebih mudah difahami supaya tidak dikatakan sebagai seorang pemalu lagi oleh pensyarah yang akan datang. saya juga berazam untuk tidak lagi menggunakan google translate ketika menyiapkan tugasan mahupun ketika terjumpa perkataan-perkataan yang saya tidak tahu maknanya.

the list should be something that looks like this :

1. enrich vocabulary, both in Malay and English language (Java also can)

2. use language and vocabulary correctly

3. be more structured and confident in voicing out my opinions

4. say no to Google translate and online dictionaries!

insya Allah.

2012-01-12T15:04:00.002+08:00

ada satu ayat dari blog akak ipar aku yg aku nak share. tapi takut kang dia gugel2 kang kantoi aku punye blog ni ekekeke. so i'm rephrasing the sentence a little ;)

"Aku belajar perasaan happy bila melihat anak-anak happy. macam tu jugak la perasaan mak ayah aku sentiasa nak anak-anak happy dalam apa yang anak-anaknya buat.. kalau anak-anak sedih, mak ayah pun turut sedih jugak.."

*lap ayaq mata*

2012-01-01T00:38:00.002+08:00

tetiba teringat. dulu-dulu masa sekolah rendah, sampai la ke agak-agak menengah jugak, kalau ada apa-apa borang, mesti akak aku yang isikan. aku tak tau nape dia suka sangat isi borang. siap kekadang tuh dia mintak lagi "dik, ko takde borang ke nak isi?" -.-" .

tapi bagus jugak. kot kot daripada gaji rm 1 500 aku tertulis rm 15 000. tak pun 'Guru' aku tertulis 'Garu', tak ke kena panggil ngan cikgu kat kelas esok tanya mak aku kerja garu ape? -__-" hehehe.

ehem. okay. kepada adik-adik darjah 1 yang nak masuk sekolah tu, bawak-bawak la independent yer. jangan nak ngade mintak mak tunggu sampai habis sekolah ke, nak makan waktu rehat dengan mak ke apa. aku jeles kang.

2011-12-31T23:29:00.002+08:00

there's a tonne of undone things in my list. those things i wish to accomplish together with you. or perhaps, for you. many things has happened this year. things i could and couldn't share. things i had always wish and never wish to happen.

perhaps the thousand miles is the best thing that that we had never thought of.

it's about time :)

2011-12-29T01:13:00.002+08:00

hai balik.

tonight i just felt like talking crap. whatever crap the crap is. ramble like a 16 again. oh hey, it's been so long since i've crapped that way. zaman blogging umur 16/17. haha! all i know was school, friends and kpop/jpop/cpop. feh. fangirl kottt :P . and where's my blog buddy? everyone have moved on. and so do i. perhaps.

just felt like google-ing this one blogger from back then. i love the way she puts her words back then. but then, expect the expected eh? not everyone would like someone outspoken. i was just a silent reader back then, enjoying each and her every posts. i'm not stalking her life okay! *denial*

ehem. and so, i found her blog, again. same link but a different one (padahal aku pun cenggitu yeee. hehehe). and so, here goes my crap post.

anyhoooos, 2011 will end in like.. 2 to 3 days time. i've learned a lot. some good, some not, some are just the same things. oh hey, i'm a 2nd year student now! *clap* Alhamdulillah... perhaps i'm just going with the flow again. eh bukan perhaps, dah memang pun. hehe. oh screw finals. i'm really done with finals. i mean... i need to. ok crap. just crap.

in 2011, i've danced and sang in front of a crowd. but they couldn't see me. i was hiding behind a snail. and my face was quite heavy with those cheap weird make up. and it was really dark so i couldn't see them too. fair enough. and what's worst, i accidentally kicked the mic stand during the short drama to song transition because it was so farking dark, my shoes was quite slippery and i've to run quite far, hence the falling mic stand. then, this one maintenance guy fella, shouted "siapa sepak mic tadi?! siapa?! ngaku cepat!" . i kept my mouth shut. i kinda trembled a little because he seems pretty mad about that. i mean.. the mic was okay. why would he raised his voice as if i've burnt down half of dtc? besides, it was a pure accident! and the show was just about to continue. hence, i've made the weird, stern face during the dance. we managed to get 3rd place. it was a pure luck actually. haha! but it was fun. really :D

also, i've joined the so called biggest scrabble competition of all time. eceh! takde lah. it's just a scrabble competition. just as the committee. the sponsor part okay! part or me regretted joining it, but my sane brain says that i should've been grateful that i've got a lot of lesson from joining the committee. and yeah, i'd never want to manage the sponsor part anymore. it's mind torturing for someone who is having trouble communicating like me. but heyyy.. i'm an usherer (again!). the felo said i was kinda stiff. but then.. we were taught that way so err.. yeahh.. hehe.

i'm not joining anything this session. i definitely need to apply for other colleges for next session.

so far, i'm maintaining my body porpotion (i hope so!). hehe. i've wasted like... 4 months this year doing nothing but cakes. i love cakes! especially those fluffy and nicely sweetened ones! hehe. oh, i've got my dad to like cakes :D . hehehe. he's like.. the cake repellent of all times but he loves his kids' ones. so me and my sister have learned to make some by ourselves. hehehe..

and little miss yaya is going to hit three next year. waaaa.. dah 3 tahun gua jadik aunty. mudew lagik taw. hihikkkk... she's adorable as always. and getting more and more annoying these days. well.. kids.

oh ye. i think i haven't mentioned about IP that much eh? well.. IP or Integrated Project is the killer subject this semester. it's kind of... a 'training' for us. that's the only word i could find right now. the lecturer is undeniably good looking. but the assignment was ... erm... burning out heart and soul slowly. but the good thing is, i've finally ride train after so long!! hehehe... last time i rode one was during my early primary school years. was kind of excited. hehehe... and thank God we've got the most helpful supervisor for our group. i've set my foot in Ipoh for the first time and it was a really really hot day D: . we didn't go sightseeing due to time constrain and we didn't even know where we could go. and after 4 months of getting here and there, we've successfully done with our presentation cum small exhibition. none of us know our marks yet. hope we'll all pass >.<

aaaand moving on like a jagger, my status, which my friends has asked me questions like a thousand times already, erm.. how should i put it eh? i'm.. just like how i was back then. nothing changed. okay tipu sikit. some things changed. but it's pretty much the same like everyone else. and that's all i've got to say. mata berat. gudnite!~

2011-12-28T23:46:00.002+08:00

hai. semua.

harap semua orang sihat walafiat. nak exam dah ni. penting kan? haruslah. kebanggaan mak abah nanti.

jaga kesihatan yer. jangan sakit-sakit. jangan mati dulu. tapi kalau dah kena panggil, jumpa lagi.

2011-12-22T09:50:00.002+08:00

assalamualaikum n hello! :D

wargghh dah 22 December! 26 Muharram!

next week dah masuk study week. bermakna akhirnya dapat bernafas sambil membaca notes. harap-harap sempat study semua T_T .

sem ni tunggang terbalik sikit. mujur lah aku tak masuk aktiviti kolej. esemen datang bertalu-talu. baru la rasa macam budak u yedakkkkk?! hehe. anyway, i'd say that time management is very important. tak boleh buat kerja last minit lagikk T_T . but can't wait for boria next sem! :D hehehe.

next time kite cerita panjang2 ekk. chup muah!

2011-12-12T15:13:00.003+08:00

seminggu baru nih memang sangat mencabar fokus dan kesukaan terhadap qs.

i did my test really really badly. and my bs assignment was good enough to be thrown into the dustbin. my part i mean. so i tried doing c tech assignment better than that. and i hope it's good enough.

despite all that, i'm having a great weekend night out. first time memang langsung tak balik rumah weekend. ehe. my brother and his family fetch me and i ate out that night. although yaya was not in her great mood, and she's slowly turning into ramona from ramona and beezus (-_-"), she's still cutely annoying as ever.

dan saya bersyukur sangat-sangat since things turned out better now. memang betul, air dicincang tak akan putus. darah dan daging tak mudah tercerai, betul? : )

i miss mak n abah. abah sekarang suka jahit seluar. don't ask me why -.-" . but thanks to his new hobby, our sewing machine was finally sent to get fixed! hahaha. emak pulak, tengah cuti ni, jadi peneman setia abah jalan-jalan. takpelah. dah masa diorang untuk holiday pulak. hehe.

i miss yaya and my sister and my brothers and my sister in law too. it's not because i haven't gone back home last weekend. it's just happen so. hehe : )

time for some nap.

and we've hit two! (:

2011-12-05T16:04:00.002+08:00

i constantly praised my mom for her young look and how beautiful she is for her age. and constantly she said,"ala ni semua kat dunia je. yang kekal kat akhirat sana."

while me repeating my words, and she keep repeating hers, as many times i could, and she could, i saw she peeked at the glass cabinet in front of us looking at her face from different angles. hehehe. ;P

dear friends who are going through hectic life as i do at the moment, let's perform our prayers at the beginning of salah time. may our heart and soul be at peace to face the upcoming days ahead :)

2011-11-28T01:49:00.002+08:00

imma loser with pathetic hopes up high.

imma loner who act like the world cares when they actually don't.

imma pathetic jerk who would stomp on people's heart like it's nothing when it's actually something.

arrggghhh apa masalah memanjang tangguh kerja nihhhh

masalah selera makan betul minggu nih

tido tido~~

2011-11-19T21:18:00.002+08:00

dulu, masa zaman aku inesen gila babi, tahap kalau kau cakap terjun gaung boleh jumpa emas, mesti aku teringin nak terjun gaung time tu jugak. okay a little money eyes di situ. hehe.

yang aku nak ketengahkan sebenarnya zaman tuh. waktu tu aku fikir, kenapa orang-orang besar ni bergaduh sampai masam-masam muka? kenapa adik-beradik gaduh sampi boleh tak bercakap lagi? kenapa mak bapak sampai hati nak halau anak? susah sangat ke nak mintak maaf? susah sangat nak selesai?

semuanya dalam cekerama je aku tengok. tapi cerekarama sebenar pun ada berlaku jugak.

tapi makin lama aku belajar makna ego. makna ingin pertahankan pendirian sendiri. makna perasaan. makna kasih sayang. makna tanggungjawab. makna family ties.

none of them is in textbook. it's a sad scenario. but it's the adult nature. senang jadi budak kecik. tak puas hati jerit je. pastu selesai kat situ jugak. takde nak fikir orang tuh nak sakit hati ke terasa hati ke menangis belakang-belakang ke.

wahai masa, aku harap tak banyak jumlah kau yg diperlukan untuk betulkan resipi kek carrot ni.

2011-11-18T23:28:00.002+08:00

masalah dalaman tentang ugg boots masih wujud. takpe. aku redha. duit dalam purse cuma ringgit. bila nak tuka dollar? ekekeke.. blajo kat sini pun terkangkang-kangkang ada hati nak terbang XP

berangannnnnnnnn.

tadi aku bercakap sikit-sikit ngan mak bapak aku. pastuh kan, abah ngan mak aku kan, macam kan, bagi kan, green light tau ntuk aku gi holiday kat sarawak. katanya "bila lagi nak nak sampai sana."

wahahahaha. tau tak kenapa aku suka? sebab aku dah berangan lama nak gi jenjalan sendiri tau. tak sendiri sangat la. ngan roomate aku sebenarnya sebab dia dari sana. kalau gi ngan member lain pun best. baru je semalam sembang ngan roomates aku pasal terbang ke sana. petanda kah ini? hahaha. very the conspiracy minded okay :P . tapi tu lah kann.. air asia takmo ke tetbe buat promotion ntuk cuti sem nnt. hehehe.

cakap pasal terbang-terbang ni kan, aku kan, tetiap kali naik terbang kan, mesti eksaited! (bajet cam banyak beno ler ni padahal baper kali jer) aku paling suka part bila kapal tuh jalan lurus pastu tetbe laju sblum terbang. pastuh aku ngan akak aku mesti tergelak-gelak. jakun gila. apa motip pun aku tak tau. hahaha. tapi tu lah kan, untuk orang yang sekali sekala naik kapal cam aku rasa ler eksaited tuh. huhuhu. macam naik ets gi ipoh aritu, orang lain takdek menda pun. aku je eksaited semacam. darah muda ni. hehehe.

2011-11-18T09:39:00.004+08:00

awwwwwwwhhhhhhhh.. :(

these are called ugg boots. made of pure sheepskin to keep your feet warm during winter but still comfy to wear during summer. they really really are pretty and lovely. never tried them. there's a real price drop right now but i'm forever having this big hole in my pocket -.-"

but it's in my list of 'Things I'll Haunt Forever'. second rank as of today. the first was and will always be a flip phone.

2011-11-13T02:05:00.002+08:00

aku sayangkan spammers chatbox aku maka aku akan biar je menda alah tuh hahaha.

cuti ni aku dah tidur banyak-banyak, makan sedap-sedap, tengok himym s7 + the big bang theory and... that's all. huehuehue. oh dear, i've forget to mention about the sims social eh. hehehe. gile ape layan game time gini. ok habis cuti karang dah habis lah :) . insya Allah.

i'm pausing um stuff for this whole week. although that'll cost me one hell of week later on but guess what, i'm contented with my life. i mean... almost. if i had minus the part where i'm trying to start assignments and failed each time, i'll have the full of it. hehe. i'm basically practicing 'ignorance is bliss' right now. for at most the next 12 hours! cepatnya cuti kali ni habis D:

i'm not prepared to click the unpause button. cause then i'll be in the world of feeling a lot of stupidity again. it's not exciting i tell you.

oh ye tips untuk menyegarkan muka ye kengkawan :

ambil sebiji/sebatang (aku tak sure apa penjodoh bilangan yang sesuai) timun, potong-potongkan macam nak makan macam biasa. pastu tepek kat muka dan nikmati kesejukannya! :D

it's actually like a face mask. but with a real cucumber. which means no extra chemical. which means it's healthy. hehehe. aku tengok Full House hari tu and terperasan Ji Eun buat benda ni masa wartawan nak interview kat rumah tuh. hence the trial eco mask ;P

cubalah!

and speaking of cucumber, i kinda have an English evaluation next week. which i kinda have totally forgotten D:

.greedily soft.

2011-11-01T16:20:00.002+08:00

"Before, all i wanted was to fit in. But I've learned that we're all searching to fit in and we... we all feel like outsiders." - Sydney White.

don't you just hate these kind of phrases?

sometimes, we are just too desperate to find that special clique who will... well.. clique with us. once, we had that special clique of friends who wouldn't care much about acting stupid together, or just... hanging out and spend time together. being true, laugh and criticize each other. and the most important thing that we had lost, faith. yeah we had it once. it's called high school. the place we could never go back again with the group of friends like no other.

WE do still EXIST. but that part of us, is already a history. even without realizing it, sometimes we'd say "i miss high school. i miss how i used to be. i miss my friends" and whatnot.

can't we live that way with what we have now?

2011-10-30T00:52:00.002+08:00

aku rasa pelik.

toilet kat rumah aku, hari-hari guna, seminggu baru nak cuci, masih boleh tahan bersih. cuma ada rambut berkumpul kat lubang air megalir ke luar tuh je (lupa nama apa). takde bau pesing pun.

sinki dapur, hari-hari guna, macam-macam jenis sisa lalu, takde kesan-kesan minyak melekat pun.

tapi...

kat kolej, hari-hari basuh toilet pun, bau pesing, sinki berminyak. masuk 23 jam lepas cuci jamban dah tak lalu nak masuk jamban.

apekehal nye yeeeeeeee?

ehem.

my head is spinning. uci uci pun makin nak membesar ye. ala uci uci cayunk, awak takmo jadik saiz asal awak ke? nak la nak la nak la yeee :) ni dah senyum paling manis untuk awak tau uci.

2011-10-29T01:43:00.002+08:00

eh dah lama x hapdet ye? hahaha

uhukk uhukkkk. erm. hai.

errr. what to say eh? oh. rasanya takde apa. busy making myself busy. hahaha. ala merepek je. tak tau la ape yang busy sangat tapi selalu rasa busy. busy on phone agaknya. hehehe.

oh yea i'm home.

.Integrated Project?.

2011-10-18T13:20:00.003+08:00

through this task, i've learnt that :

1. power is everything. you've got a little power, you'll have a little of everything.

but ..

2. there are still some people who are nice enough to help you without getting anything in return. these people are called angels. hehe. kidding.

and ..

3. it doesn't hurt to be polite. even to strangers. so why don't we?

geddit? good.

i've been to three states for the past two weeks *lap peluh* ._.

and i'm still dead tired from yesterday's trip. with some explorace. hoho

money fly away T__T

2011-10-13T15:11:00.003+08:00

awwwwwwwwwwwww lilyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

hehehehe :D

dengan ini aku mengisytiharkan bahawa hari ini hari bahagia!

eh? -.-

ehem. ok sudah.

selamat sore semua :) . life has been okay. tak sedar dah sampai 13 Oktober. nampak bebeno perasan sibuk. hehehe.

you know.. i'm kinda scared but excited at the same time. for whatever things waiting for me in near future. the chicken part me of me says just to stay low and pass everything to the person next to me but another half is being perfectly positive! i guess i'm getting older and more mature now. it is not as of i'd want to stay young forever but some things are just to good to be left behind. i guess distance teaches us to grow. you take care of yourself and i'll take care of mine. we'll watch over each other and grow old together. someday we'll meet again. insya Allah :)

imizem.enilitu.

hear me can you? (:

2011-10-10T13:41:00.002+08:00

on the way balik semalam semua syahid atas bas. dikir kuat ke sinar fm nak pecah speaker ke dah tak kesah.

ok pd dah habes. back to work baby!~

2011-10-04T14:45:00.002+08:00

is everything not okay?

imizem zem zem zem.

adn fyi, i care.

2011-10-02T12:59:00.003+08:00

i'm happy and blessed at home. HEHE.

last night i kinda throw my hands-free on the floor. the kind of throw that filled with rage and anger (padahal tak moody pun -.-). hence the broken microphone T_T still usable so i guess it's okay. i just guess.

on the side note, i feel like reading some drangging long boring stuff. tebiat gile. padahal Integrated Project tak type apa lagi pun -.-" . such bad habit should go away. ishh.

2011-09-30T08:58:00.001+08:00

it's Friday!

oh heck yeah i wanna go home home home!

2011-09-27T23:53:00.002+08:00

i need space. to talk about some other stuff than construction. or any single tiny weeny little bit thing related to that. i just realised i've been typing that word the most in the past 3 years. aren't i sick of it? YES. right now i mean. i just want to grab my bagpack and travel around. to a place where no construction is going on. or a single building is built. a cave would do. i guess so. seriously i'm tired of the word 'construction'. like there's no other word to replace it. how magical that word is huh. a single word that causes me to see surroundings differently. i just need to take my mind off for a while. off from construction. how nice it is seeing and living in a house without thinking how was the house built. or what grade of concrete did the contrator used for your beam. yes i'm that pathetic.

it's crazy.

let's talk about other stuff okay? what about the forum i attended today?

oh heck yeah it was good. i mean.. i just finished 'Does My Head Look Big In This?' a couple of days ago and i now i went and attentively listened to the forum about 'women's leadership in Islam'. or something about that. yes. between a truckload nearly due assignment and nothing but sit and listen, i went to the latter. how nice eh? ;P

here's something i'd like to share.

about a month ago, at this time of night, i was sleeping comfortably somewhere in Aussie. the weather was nice. chilly and wet. but i prefer sunlight in Malaysia. feels warmer and dainty. yerp i'm not bluffing. but the chill part i like. hehe. enough with weather thing.

what i'd like to share is their views about us, Muslims. frankly speaking, i went straight to bed at about 10 every night and wake at 6.30. i was that tired. and either was my family. except for my sister in law who has her own sleeping habit. she woke up at about 3 that one night (or maybe some other nights too) and turn on the tv. there's nothing much decent and fun stuff we could watch actually. so she choose news channel. boy oh boy. she said that there's so so so much things that we do not see in our country. say for example, have you guys ever wonder why the western people had such bad assumptions about Muslims?

aku terlalu mengantuk untuk menjadi outspoken sekarang. so selamat malam!

2011-09-27T00:34:00.002+08:00

bukak roadmap, automatic mengantuk =.=""

i have unresolved dilemma with consruction technology. God know why.

2011-09-25T21:09:00.003+08:00

my neighbour is driving me crazy. literally! see, i kinda fine with their endless argument of anything, even when i was six and doesn't even know what prostitute means. well, i was pretty small to understand such word back then.

but turning on the radio out loud? uhh.. hello? are you deaf or dead? i hope it's not the latter. base on the humanistic movement i heard, i'm positive that there's still alive being inside there. and it's like 24/7!! during the day, it was very loud that my eardrum could explode (overreact alert) and they kinda turn it low a after sunset. but it's loud again now. and for the love of God, you're Muslims and you don't even have the courtesy to turn it off during azan!

i'm feeling like a bitch here ranting about them in blog. a chicken much.

should i just call the police? it's considered as nuisance, isn't it?

tak bole buat esemen cenggini taw! (alasan)

2011-09-18T22:56:00.002+08:00

tonight i felt like ranting as much. eh. malas la nak taip omputeh. nyampah baca. hahaha.

tak tak. mood novel dah habis dengan habisnya cuti. tak tetap pendirian betul. nyampah mak tau.

kelas & kolej so far ok. kelas memang menterkejutkan yer dengan secara tiba-tiba dapat ass di minggu pertama. ass penting pulak tuh. biasanya tunggu tengah2 sem baru ler terkedek-kedek lecturer nak bagi khennn.. la nih dah masuk tahun 2 kan dah gelabah tetibe lecturer tengah bincang pasal ass dahla masuk kelas lambat 15 minit pastu alasan la tersesat. lecturer mudew rewmawjew pulak tuh. aaaa T_T . padahal dia tak ler duk telek haku kat belakang barisan manusia tuh pun. ngengada nak malu-malu gini pulekkk. hihikkk. takde la kan. tengok muka dia nampak orang lain sebenarnya. haa. yang tu sebenarnya. tuh yang jadik malu-malu tuh. eh jangan nak lawan cakap aku. tampo kang.

pastu ngengada la kan minggu ni sampai 2 kali balik rumah. ala. kelas kensel kan. ape salahnya nak teman mak ngan abah kat rumah. mithali tak mithali aku nih. muhehehe

atoi. ngantok pulak. moga-moga tekak licin hidung tak sumbat dah esok >.<

2011-09-17T21:02:00.001+08:00

aku ni memang mengecewakan betul la.

i can't see where i'll be in 5 years.

mengecewakan. patut kena buang family dah ni.

hmm.

2011-09-16T22:04:00.002+08:00

fasa jiwa mati.

waktu-waktu macam ni kalau terrer berpuisi bagai haruslah mencurah-curah idea :3 .

tapi aku taknak apa-apa.

makan pun macam minum. telan semua. tak rasa lapar lagi. tak kenyang lagi.

mulut termenjadik kecik. mungkin sebab darlie. argh.

4 malam kat rumah. such a dream.

.......................

2011-09-16T00:28:00.000+08:00

talk.

silent.

talk.

laugh.

talk.

tears.

smile :)

2011-09-12T20:50:00.001+08:00

eh. apasal aku kat rumah?

hahaha

2011-09-12T00:31:00.001+08:00

i have a selfish request.

please don't hate me...

2011-09-11T01:50:00.002+08:00

i've crossed almost 80% of the list. just small stuffs left. can be done tomorrow morning Insya Allah.

but i still get the feeling i've missed something. a big one. VERY important. so so important i could cry for leaving it. oh wait. think i've already cried. err.. did i? let's just leave the crying thing behind.

i'll say that i don't care. no. i wanna feel like i don't care. to leave such important thing behind and not care, that's me. my alter ego at least.

it's not that i wanna leave it, it just doesn't wanna come along with me. a bit overrated i suppose but doesn't matter. it is so important i could just run, grab and pack it now. so peaceful and calm. yea.

maybe this is love.

gile. padahal tengah pikir barang.

2011-09-10T14:40:00.003+08:00

truth to be told, i feel like staying home for next sem. till graduate if i could.

actually, i really could. considering how not far the distance of college from home. but that would cost a damn fortune. the plain life that would follow along too.

i just realised the existence of feline is one of the reason i'm always eager to return to college. does absence really make heart grows fonder? i still wonder why people really like to build up phrases that would only gain self consciousness.

sometimes, it's kinda scary knowing how much you closest buddy could effect your life. their existence is the reason why you'd learn a lot of things you've never thought you would. bittersweet. that might be the reason some people put up a high, strong wall from everyone. including herself. or himself.

but much sooner, some worthy people would care enough to break the wall and meet you. if you care enough, maybe you'll be the one who'll unlock the door and let them in. or in some cases, you'll find out that there was actually no wall in between you and everyone.

i rant so much these days -_-

2011-09-09T23:39:00.001+08:00

jyeahhh mood blogging juga datang!

ini bermakna sem baru dah nak start. sem baru bermakna aku turut menyiput seperti siput yang siot. malas benar. rasa macam nak kawen sekarang. eh belum masuk musim exam dah demam nak kawen? hahaha. kekdahnye haku nih dah give up la nak study memenda professional macam nih. duk umah masak untuk laki je la. bunyi cam senang. bunyi je la. yedakkkk?

siapa ntah roomate aku nih. part2 katil ni aku sensitip sikit taw. ceh tak ah. tapi insya Allah aku cuba usahakan datang awal sebab nak cop katil. tapi kalau dah mereka2 datang dulu, nak buat guane la kan.. takpe la. redho je. siapa mereka pun redho je la. janji aku ada tmpt tido setahun nih. makan pun. oh, aku rindu nasik goreng ayam goreng dm. dgn daging masak ros. dgn nasik2 bulan puasa. dgn bubur. dgn roti canai. eh baru sedar makanan dm aku nih meriah gak yer. tapi takmo tukar menu ker.. :3

dan kawan2ku, korang dah gemok ke blom? muhahaha

ok sampai sini je. nanti aku hapdet lagi

2011-09-09T23:15:00.003+08:00

the stop, the dizzy smell of smoke, the popcorn, the starry night
i know it's not gonna be the same again
not without the feline
who has made everything about me seems uncool
occupying almost every space i could have
and leave me nowhere to hide
without the feline
the stop is just another empty space to wait for nothing
suddenly i can't stand the dizziness
popcorn is just another sweet unhealthy stuff
and most probably i'll stay in a lot
for starry night is nothing

i wish everything is untrue
when i reopen my eyes
i'll get everything as it was

no i won't.

for better or for worse
it's not gonna be easy
as i was told that success is nothing without sacrifice

i'll adjust well
cause i know me :D

i'm kind of into novels right now so please bear with the weird writing mood here. hehe

2011-09-08T15:26:00.003+08:00

finally it's thrusday the 8th!

takde menda penting pun sebenarnya. ehe.

i've been meaning to update but being too busy with getting away from internet and having a real life, blogging has fall from number 3rd to 28th. i just made up the number actually. sounds quite geeky and smart that way. muhehehe.

so i thought i could share this thing now. kind of a guilty pleasure for me. hahaha. tak tak. tipu sikit je :P .

i've been eyeing that discount bookshop since day one. or maybe day two. putting up a big "3 for 18" and a small "6.95 ea" really triggered my alter ego (suka betoi haku ngan perkataan nih hehehe). someday i'll do that trick >.< . none of the books seemed to caught my attention as much. or perhaps i'm converting too much to even bought one. good habit i suppose.

so i continued to browse through. and a few hours before departing, finally i managed to pick one for myself. thought of getting three as mentioned but i'm not too familiar with the books. probably cause i'm only familiar with one section in all bookstores ; chic lit. hehe.

so there i was. going to the cashier with a Little Black Dress book in my hand.

"that would be six ninety five."

"here."

"need a bag?"

"yeah"

simple. yet arousing. hahaha. tak tak. mamat tuh sengih semacam je kat haku. i mean, yeah cashiers here are much friendlier and give welcoming smile but this one certainly is different. different than i've ever saw maybe. or maybe i could blame his appearance. his black printed clothes and maybe tats underneath. maybe.

back home at last. getting very excited with the book, i started reading it.

and i read through the prologue.

such excruciatingly detailed story about a bartender named Honey Pie serving alcohol to some officer.

errr..

'damn it! is it porn???' so i thought.

but i continued. hoping that i'm only imagining things.

and i was wrong. it was only a story written by that character. thank goodness.

but as i read through the chapters, i found out that it was actually an erotic novel!!

bfjhugfwyvfbfksbfuaubfabfio!!!!

i can tolerate kissing scene in a novel. it only take up 2-3 paragraphs anyway. easy to skip. but if i combined all the intensely arousing paragraphs, it covers about one chapter or so.

i kind of regret buying it. but the story was actually nice. kind of reliving knowing it was half worth it. i mean, yeah it's cliche but the writer seemed to write the way she knows how i'd sleep at 5 to finish a novel. yeah she do.

thinking about getting rid of it. selling it wouldn't do. and throwing it would kill me. so keeping it in the cupboard is the best solution i could find right now.

anyone wants to borrow? HEHE.

2011-08-29T06:07:00.003+08:00

hello dear 29th day of Ramadhan! :)

Alhamdulillah i'm still alive during this year's holy month though it is kind of short. and for the wishes granted, i'm really really very thankful for them. moga dipanjangkan umur dan masih sihat untuk berjumpa Ramadhan tahun depan. amiiiinnn..

Selamat menyambut Hari Raya Aidilfitri! ^__^

2011-08-27T23:43:00.003+08:00

happy 27th Ramadhan! :)

lagi 2 hari nak raya yer? it's not gonna be much of the usual raya this year but ... yeah.. that much is enough as what's waiting afterwards is wayyyyy raya-er. insya Allah. hehehe. raya with close families + good food + honestly seeking for forgiveness with each other already fill 30 days of syawal ^^

we lost a dear relative today. may Allah bless her soul and forgive her sins. ameen.

litres of tears with recitation of yassin and many of "sekejap je...". Alhamdulillah everything went well. we are undeniably sad but yeah.. life goes on. Allah knows what best for us. although "the best" does involve tragic events periodically. there's a big difference in facing it yourself rather and seeing people struggling through it. kan?

have a blessed Ramadhan and Syawal dear earthlings~ ;)

2011-08-24T06:24:00.003+08:00

aku memang la ngantuk bebenor nih. dah seminggu eh tak hapdet blog? biasa la. busy dengan reality. cewah!

nih aku nak cerita ni..

zarifah cakap 1 night 2 days is going to end!!!!

damn sad!! T______T my only favorite show which i wasn't attracted by just pretty boys!!!!

aku ngantuk sesangat nih. kalau boleh nak tekan keyboard jhefbenkjfjndsoiheroihgi3[herfdncx pastu keluar terus apa perkataan aku nak hokei. 1n2d pnyer pasal, aku dulik hape sengkang2 mata gini. hehehehe

i'll miss this show :'(

2011-08-18T12:17:00.002+08:00

thanks for those who remembered :D . such sweet sweet wake up call :)

and now i can't "oh i'm not two-oh yet!" >.<

2011-08-14T22:37:00.002+08:00

sometimes i'm torn between the big congrats and feeling crappy all over me. don't "look at yourself you ungrateful bitch!" me. i'm just a human. please allow me to be humanly jealous and majorly depressed for that. i can't lie to myself of what i feel. but i can lie to you on how i feel.

i'm officially two days away from universally declined by chic lit and teen flicks. sad? a little. happy? i don't care anyway. it's Ramadhan. a blessed month. let's just say... i'm blessed that way *wink*

i've grown to be very sarcastic and a pain the arse for a while now. things should come to an end eventually... is it?

2011-08-12T12:40:00.003+08:00

weird weird weirdly WEIRDDDD!

i kinda hate the fact that communication is much easier nowadays. OR actually what i've been imagining for a while now is really real!

oh sweet dear, don't kill me that way -.-"

don't turn yourself into a cougar. too young to be true.

now THIS is why the so-called fostering-brother/sister is ridiculous. VERY.

if you liked him/her, just say it straight in the face. the so-called fostering is a coward way to cover it up don't you think so? why not just call each other friends?

i feel you.

2011-08-10T01:30:00.002+08:00

i've just finished a british chic lit. haven't read one for so long. and oh my, i just found out there's a riot in london today. what a coincidence.

anyway, it got me thinking for a while. earlier this year, i read an article from random blog, or more like a scary prediction of the century. okay that was half kidding. hehe. and i am half serious too.

the prediction says there will be riot in egypt and err... some other countries which i reckon they aren't as famous. or maybe i wasn't paying much attention since believing in such prediction is prohibited in Islam. (oh now i remember! i saw it during egyptian riot and Bersih was starting to caught public's attention too. but the article was written wayyyy before the riot happened).

and now i'd reaaaaaally like to read again that post. not cause i'm starting to believe it but just to see again what contrast is there.

too bad i can't remember anything about the blog at all ._.

2011-08-08T22:03:00.002+08:00

tazkirah ramadhan kali ini :

tomakninah bermaksud berhenti sebentar. panjang berhenti sebentar tu lebih kurang sekali korang bertasbih. tak perlu sampai sebut tasbih tuh la yer. just senyap sekejap. tomakninah adalah rukun solat yang berkait dengan rukuk, iktidal, sujud & duduk antara 2 sujud. dan ramai yang tak ambik berat tentang tomakninah nih walhal kepentingannya sama macam takbiratul ihram. aku tak sure apa hukumnya kalau ditinggalkan. kalau tak silap, solat akan jadi tak sah. okay sila rujuk pada rujukan yang betul tentang hukum. tapi aku pasti yang ini adalah rukun solat.

aku pun dulu buat tak kesah pasal tomakninah ni. tapi satu pagi yang tak syahdu langsung, masa on the way pegi skolah, sorang ustaz mengutarakan pasal perkara ni kat radio. jadi lepas tuh baru la aku aware pentingnya tomakninah ni. jadi aku harap walaupun sorang dua je yang terbaca ni, dan solat korang pun tomakninah tah kemana, akan mula aware jugak. sekian :)

2011-08-07T00:57:00.002+08:00

tazkirah ramadhan (lagikk).

minum air bebanyak. selalu pegang vaseline.

ok sudah.

tetibe di malam yang syahdu nih terasa ketakutan untuk menaiki sem baru. not exactly scared but not wanting to step forward. maybe?

satu aku tertanya-tanya. kau orang kan.. boleh terima ke kalau pasangan kau orang dah macam-macam sebelum kau orang together-gether? y'know.. "macam-macam"?

even if he/she already regret and repent for his/her wrongdoings?

just random stuff.

2011-08-06T00:10:00.002+08:00

muhasabah ramadhan.

untuk pak imam dan ustaz-ustaz sekalian :

Islam bukan untuk diambil mudah. tetapi sebenarnya mudah.

untuk aku dan orang-orang yang rasanya segolongan dengan aku :

Islam itu mudah. tetapi bukan untuk diambil mudah.

camno nak tolong bibir aku yang kering memanjang ni? T__________T

anyhooooooooooossssssss..

aku baru sat baca blog seseorang yang aku kenal. aku faham perasaan dia sekarang. rasa cam diperbodokan je kan? takpe. ingat satu.

Tuhan.

ask yourself, how you were back then? cukup elok kah untuk kau bawa yg dah berlalu ke masa depan?

and you got the answer. i hope.

ayat favorite gua :

have you decided to give up? good. if you thought of going back, think of the reason why you give up :)

2011-08-03T01:30:00.002+08:00

a friend in need is a friend indeed.

saya gembira kawan saya bahagia. walaupun dia simpan-simpan. takpe. i respect everyone's privacy :)

sekarang aku dah tak baper suka baca belog hanis zalikha yang telah mengintroduce word belog to the world (and it's a thing y'know). i mean.. her posts used to be funny and entertaining. now it's all about advertisements. she's still the same blogger but her blog isn't. but then again.. most blogger tend to become like that at some point. i just wished she wouldn't be one sebab please lah wey berapa kerat sangat blogger yang mampu membuat anda tersenyum tapi bukan dengan lawak slapstik plastik?

tidak.. aku bukan fanatik dia. sikit pun tak. banyak jugak blog lain yang jadi cenggini dan aku pun stop follow. cuma dia yang latest so dia je lah aku aim. ngehngehngeh.

dan aku pun dah semakin membosankan. dah la makin kertu. memanjang orang duk ingat aku nih akak dan akak aku tuh adik. tau la aku cantik (xpe menipu diri janji sedap sikit hati nih hehehehe)

banyak lagi aku nak merepek sebenarnya. tapi cukuplah yang tu dulu.

2011-08-02T01:36:00.002+08:00

itu la..

baru tunang, dah kecoh kecah satu donia padahal baru tunang. dah putus, kan ke sendiri yang tanggung malu. aku tanak up menda ni pun sebab tiap-tiap kali aku ngata orang, kena kat aku balik punya. jadik post ni untuk ingatkan diri ini supaya bersederhana dan takyah gelabah hanj nak kecoh-kecoh menda kecik. menda tak pasti lagi ponggg. baca ni ye wahai hajimah. jangan ngata orang. doakan lah yer. dan takyah ngengada nak in relationship bagai kat fesbuk ke blog ke hape. kat dunia real pon. belum halal untuk masing-masing dah ngengada nak public affection konon sweet padahal dosa sendiri. dah lepas tuh dah jadik. nih yang belum jadik nih ler kena jadikan bebaik. kang tak pasal kena lecture ngan embah jugak nih -.-"

ingat nih hajimah oiiii

2011-08-01T00:21:00.002+08:00

selamat menyambut bulan ramadhan. selamat bertarawikh.

banyakkan amal. kurangkan lagha dan dosa. improve diri.

pesanan untuk diri..

2011-07-30T21:51:00.003+08:00

pelik..

kalau dah kata tersilap tuh, maknanya tersilap la kan? kenapa tak faham-faham?

ok aku tak pelik sangat sebenarnya. tapi manusia gila, perasan dan horny akan menjadi tak reti bahasa bila aku guna 'tersilap'. what word is equivalent to 'my mistake' in your little world huh? 'fuck you' is it?

sila lah bergembira.

2011-07-29T12:35:00.002+08:00

laptop aku menjadi bengong maka aku mengambil langkah drastik dengan menguninstall chrome. hilang sumer site ngan bookmarks aku. uwwaaa :'( . xpe. demi masa depan lebih aman yer.

orang belakang umah aku nih... seluar punya pasal pun bergaduh 1 rumah -.-" . yang budak nih carik seluar tak jumpa2. pi salahkan mak dia. pastu mak dia marah balik suh carik leklok. pastuh masuk skali ngan bapak dia. anak dia tuduh mak dia buang seluar agaknya. bapak dia pun pi salahkan mak dia. tak ke haru aku dengar. agak jahat sebab aku gelak tadi. hihi :P

selama sembilan belas taon aku idop nih (xnak ngaku dua tuh dah dekat okay), dan selama doploh lapan taon abg aku idop, setahu aku ler, tak pernah langsung terjadi satu rumah haku bergaduh demi mencari satu barang. even bapak aku ke mak aku marah pun, kitorang tak pernah pun nak melawan. budak generasi lepas haku nih... mak bapaknye baik2 sgt yek? musykil tau cemane ko sanggup jerit balik kat abah ko. aku nih naikkan suara sekali pun dah terkedu lepas tuh :3

parenting isn't as easy as abc. takmo kahwin la cmnih >.<

2011-07-28T01:41:00.002+08:00

saya sedar diri...

selama ni saya dapat everything the easy way.

saya tak melalui kesusahan macam orang lain.

saya belum melalui dugaan hebat dan besar yang mencabar emosi dan kerohanian macam orang lain.

saya belum melalui kegagalan besar macam orang lain.

saya tak pernah bersusah payah mencari duit untuk menyuap mulut yang sering mintak makanan ni macam orang lain.

tapi tak bermakna saya tak sedar di mana diri ini berpijak.

saya jugak sedar yang semua ni tak kekal lama. ini semua pinjaman tanpa hitam putih. dari Tuhan.

kesenangan yang saya ada bukan untuk saya seorang. apa salahnya berkongsi. sikit pun jadi lah.

mungkin perasaan menghargai saya tak sedalam orang lain tetapi tetap ada. salahkah saya menghargai apa yang saya miliki sekarang walaupun dimiliki dengan cara senang? salahkah wahai orang2 yang menganggap diri mereka melalui kesusahan hakiki?

Tuhan itu adil. jangan kau cuba2 adili Tuhan. kelak kau yang tersembam kembali.

dan kamu yang bijak hebat pandai, berentilah tertawakan orang lain. lantak la dia poyo ke apa. lantak la orang tu gagal ke apa. ada pernah kamu fikir apa perasaan orang tu? Tuhan bagi kamu kelebihan bukan untuk kamu tunjuk pada dia siapa lagi hebat. tapi untuk kamu guide orang tu supaya keluar dari kepompong tersebut. itulah yang saya panggil berkongsi :)

pesanan untuk diri. lagi =.=" . tua betul aku nih skarang memanjang post cenggini cehhhh

2011-07-27T23:12:00.002+08:00

aku respek nyamuk.

kecik. tapi pandai carik makan.

annoying. tapi mampu terbang jauh.

ah. tipu je. aku nyampah nih. pukul-pukul tak mati. mesti kecik2 dulu minum dumex. pandai pulak gigit aku. nyesal memalam ni pakai spendek. grr.

aku nih dah la tengah musim nak makan jeeee. please faham sebab aku naik angin nanti.

rasa cam nak telan daging. daging lembu ngan ayam je. masak mesti omputih stail. cincang bole. bege bole. stik bole. arrghhh.. mane nak cari tetengah malam ni??? T_T

perut nih ngengada tau. nak babap tak sampai ati. bukan kenyang pon =.="

kang tido, esok pagi menggelupur lapo. haish. kat umah tinggal makanan berkhasiat je pulak tuh. haishh.

2011-07-23T00:07:00.002+08:00

esok lusa
aku tak tahu

hari ni
masih tanda tanya

2011-07-22T00:22:00.003+08:00

ingatan untuk diri sendiri :

1. sedar diri kat mana berpijak.

2. hargai apa yang kau ada. dan yang kau pernah ada.

3. pandang orang di atas. dan jangan lupa pandang yang di bawah. majukan diri. tapi jangan lupa, apa yang kau ada, orang lain tak ada. bersyukurlah.

4. mak abah marah sebab sayang. orang lain mana kisah pasal hidup kau macam diorang kisah.

5. belajar rajin-rajin. takyah perasan genius laa.

6. layan orang baik-baik.

7. solat jangan nak speeding je. doa biar ikhlas. penting ni.

8. jangan layan benda-benda negatif. hati gelap, susah nak cerahkan balik.

cukup la untuk malam ni. niteeeeeeeeee~

2011-07-20T22:11:00.002+08:00

tadi petang sambil melayan agar-agar buatan sendiri yang sedap malatop (harus puji diri sendiri hokayy), aku terdengar la satu rancangan tv kat channel oasis nih. terdengar itu kerana aku di dapur manakala mak aku pasang volume tahap ingin gegar ruang depan. penah dah tengok sebelum nih tapi ingatan seperti ayam jadi dah lupa tajuk menda alah ni. a talk show by the way.

cenggini ye.. ada sorang makcik nih mengacarakan rancangan ni. aku tak kenal siapa. aku tak harap nak kenal jugak. rasanya dia seorang kaunselor. jadi dia membuat satu eksperimen untuk membuktikan bahawasannya bila orang memandang kita dengan pandangan positif, kita akan mampu untuk maju (or something about that). maka dia memanggil seorang penonton untuk datang ke depan dan membuat sesuatu. aku lupa sesuatu tu apa. tapi sesuatu la. amat tak memberangsangkan cara aku explain tapi tak apa.

maka dia suruh penonton semua pandang yg dipilih tu (sdg berdiri dgn dia kat depan) dengan pandangan yang manis dan suka kepada dia. taraaaaaaaa! dia mampu buat sesuatu tersebut. lepas tu dia suruh pulak penonton bagi pendangan yang terbalik dgn sebelum tuh. dan tanpa kejutan, yg dipilih tu tak dapat buat sesuatu tersebut. maka terbuktilah eksperimen dia.

terbukti ke????

ehem. mari kita kaji semula yer.

sebelum penonton "memberi pandangan manis", cube ingat balik. dia "suruh penonton pandang". maknanya sebelum yg terpilih membuat sesuatu, dia dah tau apa yang penonton akan fikir. begitu jugak untuk senario selepas tu.

dan persoalan kedua, adakah benar semua penonton menuruti kata-kata kaunselor tersebut?

jadi konklusi aku yg sebenarnya adalah, you are what you think.

disebabkan makcik tu cakap "semua orangggg! sila suka pada dia!" (dialog buatan aku). so there she thought,"oh, it's a positive auraaaaa! of course i can do it!" maka kun fa ya kun...

begitu juga untuk seterusnya. "oh it's negative. i absofuckinglutely can't :("

the experiment wasn't wrong. it's just that, the hypothesis was not proven entirely.

you are a loser if you think that people thought you are a loser.

you are beautiful if you think that people thought you are beautiful.

you are being dumped by the society if you think that people thought you are being dumped by the society.

sekarang korang faham kan betapa pentingnya "pandangan orang" ni? or should i say... "pandangan kita tentang pandangan orang"?

your mind the most beautiful thing you could've ever own. learn to use it the way you want it :)

aku bukan nak hentam makcik kaunselor tersebut. ini cuma pandangan peribadi yang aku nak catat. dan sepatutnya ditujukan kepada seseorang. it's time for some tough love.

2011-07-20T01:57:00.002+08:00

wah bangga haku stranger mengkomen post haku hihikkkkk

*x pasal =.=*

malam ni aku nak berfalsafah lagi. sebab diri ini semakin lupa menghargai. semakin curang dengan keadaan. ceh menipu berlebih.

okay mood falsafah dah hilang. so... selamat malam. mimpi indah. mimpi manis. hidup ini indah. tapi mati itu pasti.

2011-07-17T21:11:00.002+08:00

keluar dengan my girlsssssssssssss. tak begitu plan. tapi akhirnya sampai ke fitting room. dengan menggediknye lagi. siap terlanggar mat salleh besar alam tanpa dia goyah tapi aku pulak goncang =.=" . dengan bisou lagi. berjalan di jalan yg sama 2 kali. membaca di kedai buku secara terang benderang.

penattttttt. tapi fun fun fun. HEHEHE.

aku begitu penat dan mengantuk sehingga mekdi pun aku taknak layan bye

2011-07-14T01:32:00.003+08:00

if...

and only if...

we can pause, play, rewind and forward this life,

and overwrite the things we wanna forget with moments we wanna remember all the time,

wouldn't it be wonderful?

mistakes are done. we just have to learn to live with it.

cakap senang la.

i rest my case~

2011-07-12T23:39:00.002+08:00

mengapa anak-anak akan selalu ikut jejak langkah mak bapak?

bukan mempersoalkan. just wondering.

dulu, aku teringin keluar dari kebiasaan. tapi end up sama jugak. mungkin aku tak cukup berani nak pusing ke jalan yang lain. bapak aku tak kisah pun sebenarnya aku nak ambik apa. mak aku kisah.

aku bukan merungut. sangat bersyukur dengan apa yang ada. tapi keinginan tuh tak hilang.

selagi segalanya yang halal dan diberkati, it's fine. tak siapa dapat jangka hidup kita macam mana.

hope there's a good surprise waiting. the one i'll make for me.

2011-07-10T19:32:00.003+08:00

pernah korang ditinggalkan tanpa sebab?

bukan aku. at least belum pernah. ehe.

tapi aku kesian kat siapa yang kena macam gitu. kesian je la mampu. yelah kan. tengah duk syok2 dedua tetibe baru tau syok sendiri je selama ni. tak baik woo kau orang buat orang lain macam ni. fikir la kalau kena kat diri sendiri, apa rasanya. pengecut sangat nak bagitau yang korang dah takde feeling kat dia? pengecut sangat nak bagitau yang korang dah ada hati kat orang lain? atau pengecut sangat nak ngaku gay?!?!

okay yang last tu exaggerate sikit. sikit je takpe la. hehehe.

kamon la. amik beradab, buang pun takkan tak bole beradab jugak. yeah, there's no easy way to leave someone without hurting them. but leaving for no reason? please lah. takdak teloq ka??

haaa.. betul ni bukan aku. tapi orang terdekat. aku pulak emosi kan??? biasalah. pompuan. ekekeke...

untuk yang kena tinggal, haa.. pepandai la nak hidup.

untuk yang meninggalkan, nanti ko aku siku!

takpa.. hidup nih macam naik beskal. eh silap. macam roda beskal. memula buruk je. pastu fixie. kang lelama, fixie tuh buruk jugak. ceh tak masuk langsung perumpamaan haku nih >.<

hape2 pon, selamat mencari kebahagiaan la untuk dedua. itulah kan.. susah jugak zaman sekarang nih. dengan keperluan untuk habis belajar baru kawen. jumpa pulak masa matrik. tak pon 1st year. lelama sangat bersama takde ikatan, memang ler risiko nak berenti tengah jalan tuh tinggi. *terasa*

tapi ada je yang kenal lama pastu kawen. macam dr sheikh tu. macam abang sulung aku jugak. tapi itu semua ketentuan Ilahi. dan yang penting, keberkatan hubungan tuh. kalau siang2 dah ehem ehem macam2, memang ler patut tak sampai jodoh tu kan. kalau sampai pun, kejap jer. tapi kalau pernah terbuat macam2, bukan maksudnya takkan dapat bersama-sama. syaratnya, dengan rela hati dedua org tersebut kena insaf. tapi kalau dah insaf pun tetap bye bye, memang la pelan kita ni tak sempurna gituh kan? tapi kalau bebetul dah insaf, aku yakin dedua redho jer. gituh kan?

hape2 pon, ini semua pilihan masing2. ada orang terus tutup hati sampai ler grad. ada yang jenis mak bapak kasik kawen masa blaja. untung nih. hahaha. ada yang jenis main2 bercinta. ada pulak jenis setiap satu yang dia jumpa tuh serius bebenor.

ikut pilihan masing2 nak jadik mana satu. untuk aku, tak kesah jer. bila ada, ada la. bila takde, takde la. it should happen naturally pada aku. yang dah lepas, amik pengajaran. yang akan datang, teruskan belajar, sebab hidup ni proses belajar tanpa henti. tapi bukan semuanya di atas kertas ye dakk?? ngeh. aku jenis yang tak layan ler kapel memain (macam bebudak sekolah ler maksud haku). kalau nak memain, kawan biasa2 je ler. kalau bebetul serius, kawan jugak ler. abih tuh hape lagi yang bole kan?? ngehngehngeh.

hokay dah cukup la aku merepek nih. eh sebenarnya aku nak cerita pasal ayat pertama post nih tapi dah melalut ke mana tah -.-" . anyway, untuk yang ditinggalkan, bior ler orang tuh. sedih la sehari dua sebab sakit hati. bergembira la sebab dia pergi. untuk yang meinggalkan, i hope it's worth it. yela kan.. masa ko tak hensem dulu, yang tuh jugak la yang duk memanjang calling2 mesej2 ko. skang pun still tak hensem. tapi dah kertu. laki nih makin kertu makin laku ye dakkk? ngeh. aku tau sebenarnya ada yang ko tak puas hati pasal dia dan ko simpan dedalam. last2 ko fedap. pastuh ada pulak sorg nih macam electric shock kat ko. ko pon mula la kan. okay dah bertambah lagi melalut haku nih.

pokok pangkalnya, haku nih tak berani nak cakap depan2 ko, sebab tuh la tulis sini. hahaha. ok aku bukan pengecut tapi menghormati privasi ngkorang berdua. post ni peringatan untuk diri sendiri sebenarnya. siapa yang abis baca nih memang la patut dapat standing ovation kehkehkeh

2011-07-10T00:58:00.002+08:00

i have a confession.

i.am.a.hardcore.stalker.

read between the dots derrr..

hehe. segan nak ngaku tapi memang.. kekadang tuh aku stalk orang sampai sanggup tido lambat. ini habit yang aku tak suka. tapi dah sebati. i'm trying not to be one but still... err.. hehehe. kekadang tuh aku sanggup tido lambat sebab stalking. by stalking i meant just through the internet yer.. bukannya sampai duk amik gamba ke hape. just duk merenung tentang orang. thru fb (jangan kata ngko tak penah. nih memang penipu besau), blogs and google. stalker habis kan? ala. korang pun macam tuh. taknak ngaku jeeeeeeeeee. hahaha

2011-07-09T17:34:00.003+08:00

mungkin aku masuk next sem dengan perut bunting...

sempat kot..

GILA LA MAKAN MACAM TAK PERNAH JUMPA MAKANAN -.-

menci taw ;(

tapi lagi menci sebab terjatuh suka dengan lagu Bizarre Love Triangle versi Nouvelle Vague. shit hokay. lagu mengedik perempuan cenggini bukan taste gua (ceh nak kene tampo nih)

"Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
Im waiting for that final moment
Youll say the words that I cant say"

kepada Clean People and Dirty Parties sekalian, berhentilah menyalahkan sesama sendiri. akhirnya makan diri sendiri...

-kesian. eh silap. sekian.-

2011-07-08T20:39:00.002+08:00

dengan rileknya bapak berkata,"dulu abah join demo, ikut anwar blablabla. pernah kena tangkap (intonasi naik nih). jpa panggil sampai nak tarik scholarship abah."

cehhh.. selalu kencang duk mengata. rupanya dulu dia pun mcm tu yer. hohoho

2011-07-05T00:04:00.003+08:00

kalau suka sangat dgn keBERSIHan, sapu lantai umah korang dulu. yang ngengada sangat propa hebat tuh apehell? heh orang2 kampung sekalian. dengar sini gua nak memberontak.

bukak mata, bukak minda, bukak hati. tengok sekeliling. gunakan minda yang tak dipengaruhi orang. relevankah tindakan anda? takda sesiapa yang cuba amik kesempatan atas kemarahan anda kah?

well said.

i'm jimbo, 19 going on 20, and i truly oppose of the idea of bersih 2.0. or whatever. i love this peace and harmony. and i believe having such assembly in streets on such day creates mess rather than cleaning them up. we have more intellectual ways. aren't we educated citizen?

knowledge is power. in the end, people with great power (read : knowledge) wins. kan? well, tengok sejarah la beb.

just my honest opinion :)

2011-07-04T16:45:00.002+08:00

hari ni makan eskrem goreng. buat sendiri. hahaha (hape motip gelak entah -.-)

nak tau caranya? PM me okay.

ah penampo gak aku nih. hah. korang kot2 rasa macam nak makan eskrem goreng tapi tak tau nak cari kat mana atau rajin sungguh untuk buat sendiri, meh sini bukak mata luas2 baca step2 ini.

1. amik cawan (agak2 yg tea set punya) then tekap kat roti. pastu dapat la sekeping roti berbentuk bulat yang cantik. nak guna apa2 untuk buat bulat tuh pun takpe janji bulat. kot2 nak try eskrem goreng bentuk honey star, guna la objek yang sesuai yer :)

2. kemudian scoop/sapukan eskrem ke atas roti tersebut.

3. tutup the other part of eskrem dgn roti berbentuk yang sama. then, tepi roti tuh korang picit2 la supaya terkatup. macam buat karipap. tapi tak perlu sampai gentel2 karipap yer.

4. agak2 dah tutup elok tuh, simpan dalam freezer/peti ais compartment atas selama sejam. kalau tabah, sehari semalam pun boleyyy. nak lama2 lagi pun boleyy :)

5. nih step terpenting. goreng kepalan eskrem anda dalam minyak yang serba serbi panas. diulangi sini : PANAS yer. kerna mengikut pengalaman ketika menjual di gerai konvo dulu, menggoreng lama2 akan menyebabkan eskrem anda cair di dalam sungguhpun di luar tergoreng dgn elok. lagi satu, xperlu over analyse sehingga anda melakukan proses nyahbeku pada kepalan eskrem anda sebelum menggoreng. kang nyesal.

6. goreng kejap je. x sampai seminit pun. pandai2 terbalik-terbalikkan. dan dah boleh dimakan :))

enjoy! gambar tade. aku malas. muhahasss

2011-07-03T23:22:00.002+08:00

alaaa.. aku nak tulis blog ni. tapi kan.. bila dah duk bukak blogger.com terus hilang mood rebel -.-" . akhirnya aku akan buat post kontot tentang emosi. post emosi memang kena kontot kontot je. aku memang saje tulis kontot nih bebanyak muhahaha

2011-07-02T00:20:00.001+08:00

eleh. jadik selfish ni seronok sebenarnya. korang je taknak ngaku. kan? bluekkk! :P

2011-07-01T01:01:00.002+08:00

aku tongkat

kuat tapi rapuh

bersinar tapi malap

disukai, dibenci

wujud tapi tiada

sedar atau tidak,

bolos saja dinding ituuuuuuuuuuu!!!

ehhh. silap2.

ekkhheemm.

........

lapar sangat untuk menaip.

oktataaaaaaaa

2011-06-29T22:07:00.002+08:00

hari ni hampir-hampir langgar orang. ada la dalam 10 cm lagi. mujur aku sempat brek. habis semua buku kat belakang tersungkur. samada sebab aku menggelabah nak sampai stesen lrt atau sebab mamat tuh pakai mp3 kat telinga sambil sibuk sangat nak pilih lagu ke hape tah.

guys, mp3 and phone can kill you. this is serious. already the second time this thing happened. hari tu ada sorang mamat ni entah vol berapa dia pi letak kat telinga sampai aku hon banyak kali pun tak dengar. aku yang hon BANYAK KALI KURANG 1M dari dia! boleh kau bayang dia jalan kat tengah-tengah jalan mana lane aku nak pegi oi!! mau mati ka?!?! mujur la aku bawak slow. aku tau la stesen lrt tuh memang ramai pejalan kaki tapi nih kat tengah-tengah jalan kottt.

nih aku nak pesan. kalau nak sms ka, cakap dalam fon ka, dengar mp3 kuat-kuat ka, pastikan bukan kat tengah-tengah jalan. unless korang nak mati kena langgar. tapi pastikan bukan aku yang drive. kalau tak aku langgar ngko banyak-banyak kali!! grrr.

emosi nihhhh!

2011-06-27T21:17:00.003+08:00

adakah keji sekiranya bila aku tengok orang baik, cantik, otak bijak, masak pun bijak, sopan santun lagi tuh (senang citer macam perfect la), kemudian aku memikirkan "hidup ni mana sempurna. setiap orang ada kekurangannya"?

keji tak? keji takkk???

baik ko cakap tak. dia cantek ok. orang cantek mana boleh terrer bab-bab lain. ini membuatkan golongan pinggiran macam aku terasa hati (x pasalllll)

aku ni busuk hati. huehuehue

.aku yakin kau yakin.

2011-06-27T18:09:00.003+08:00

dalam pahit, ada manisnya

yang utama adalah Tuhanmu

syukurilah kesusahanmu

kerna ia pembuka mata

yang hampir terkatup dek rezeki yang tak kau syukuri

hargailah insan disisimu

yang sanggup menangis kernamu

tinggalkan yang lalu

ambil pengajaranmu

pandang ke depan

perjalanan masih jauh

berliku, berbatu

aku percaya

Tuhan Maha Adil

Dia turunkan racun

Dia turunkan penawar

bangkitlah wahai perwira

carilah pelangi selepas hujan

2011-06-26T23:18:00.002+08:00

hari ni pergi sogo. nih dah kali ke-3 tahun ni. dan kali ke-4 sejak sekian lama dulu aku selalu pergi sini. ok takde la sekian lama sangat tapi dah lama la jugak since last time aku datang situ, dedulu.

Ramadhan last year 1st time pergi since lama dulu. buka puasa makan ape yek? yong tau foo kot. aku pun lupa. tapi aku ingat sangat waktu tu. sebab aku mane ler jalan-jalan kolumpo nih time memlm bute camtuh. paling jauh aku berani pun mid. dan sebab lain yang sadis serta benar. ekekeke... pastu memalam tuh gi jalan tar. makaihhhh ramai benor manusia tak pergi terawikh nihh (termasuk yours trully *malu*). kemudian pulang dengan tren terakhir. turun tangga stesen u terus tutup lrt tuh. wuhahaha. eh. ke tren terakhir tuh time seoul garden ekh? haku pun lupa hikhikhik

2nd time aku pergi sebab kebetulan. aku teman orang nak mencari pakaian. pastuh pusing-pusing tak sengaja tersinggah kotak merah. ekekeke.. mentang-mentang 9 hengget 3 jam. kitorang pun bantai la melalak puas-puas :P

3rd time aku pergi sensorang. apasal aku pegi sorang? biarlah rahsia.. ekeke.. tampo jugak aku nih kang. ish. time tuh acid man belum femes maka aku berani-berani je pergi. la nih tak berani lagi. gilo ngko tak pasal kena penggal ngan mak abah aku. dah ler krisis hampir-hampir tak dapat keluarkan duit. mau nye aku aku balik jalan kaki dengan perut lapo. huhuhu

nih kali ke-4. jumlah manusia tuh takyah habaq la. berlaga macam-macam. tapi demi si tomei tuh, 1 family sanggup pegi. cucu kesayangan la kate kan..

2011-06-25T23:53:00.001+08:00

gila apehal aku pi minum neslo tadi?

pdn muko aku ngantuk tak dpt tido

zzzzzzzzz

2011-06-24T19:15:00.001+08:00

hari ni pun tak..

dah la wujud sebab untuk emo..

gila apehal aku emo emo nih

tembak kang!

>:/

2011-06-23T19:32:00.002+08:00

setiap hari menanti

kalau hari ni tidak

aku harap esok jawapannya ya

di sini sabar

di sana perit

pengalaman kali ni mengajar erti kecil dan rendahnya diri ini

err.. not literally -.-

sungguh aku tak dapat bayang kalau aku yang lalui sendiri

diri ini penuh sebab untuk turut melalui perkara sama

jadi diri ini cukup bersyukur

dapat belajar dari pengalaman orang lain

macam biasa la. aku observer. heh.

2011-06-21T00:18:00.002+08:00

aku ni yang sibuk-sibuk duk menggelabah pasal orang lain. hari-hari duk ngadap laptop mencari. tapi fokus sebenarnya sekarang bukan yang ni. cuma aku risau. risau tentang semua yang bukan berkaitan dengan aku. sebab bila aku tengok orang kecewa, aku pun tumpang kecewa sekali.

we can't figure how life works. we plan, work it and boom! it shatters just like that.

easier said than go through it no?

aku patut sedar kat mana diri ini berpijak. ish.

2011-06-20T03:00:00.002+08:00

aku rasa aku tengah melalui fasa jiwa mati.

takpe lah. i'm waiting for shopping day. HAHA.

spoilt kid btul aku nih. apsal tak jadik sosial terus hah? boleh selalu update status "hajimah lunch at klcc with 2 other friends". ehem. hehe.

so memandangkan aku dah muak dengan fb & blogwalking, aku pun saje ler try main sort of dress up game nih. amik dari blog akak ipar aku di mana dia mula mengetahui melalui belog hanis zalikha.

just google polyvore. so so sooo many outfits! well hanis zalikha and other girls mungkin guna untuk "window shopping" but i think it's more fun to be used as dress up game. akak ipar aku guna untuk berangan memandangkan bebaju di situ di luar jangkauan ihik ihik ihikkk.. oh but i still love roiworld :P

shaza, meh cuba nih! :D

perkara perempuan macam ni mengingatkan aku tentang kegilaan main game gedik macam ni masa form 1 dulu. HAHA. it started with suba's freebies of "bang on the door" yang dia bawak pegi skolah dulu. aku just rasa kartun tuh comel. macam doodle-like la. dah tu member yang duk sebelah aku tuh jenis yang suka berkeperempuan camnih. pastu tau-tau je aku dah sign up dengan myscene ke apetah. dari situ la aku start main dress up games sampai jumpa roiworld. peh gedik xP

dedulu masak kecik-kecik main paper doll je. masa tuh bukak komputer pun tak reti. ehe. dahla paper doll tuh pakai bra dengan spender je. cousin aku yg jejantans (masa tuh inesen lagi bluekkkk!) kekononnya melarikan diri la bila tengok paper doll tu. elehh. padahal stim diorang tuh. HAHAHA

okay aku nak merepek banyak-banyak lagi.

dedulu masa form 2 pernah ada projek seni buat decorate bilik. i really love that project walaupun hasil aku cam haram tapi still dapat A (riak tak pasal wtf -.-). hehehe. homework je pun sebenarnya. bendanya kena buat guna kotak kasut atau apa-apa kotak yang korang suka. lepas tuh guna la kreativiti sendiri untuk bina sebuah bilik tidur.

and then masa form 5 seni spm, aku pilih buat model dapur. model aku tuh buruk gila sebenarnya. takde la gila tapi it wasn't so good. comot. tak kemas. tapi cikgu tetap bagi high mark. biasala tu. taknak kasi student fail. huhuhu T_T

aku sebenarnya suka buat model kecik-kecik macam ni. cuma yang aku tak suka adalah takde tempat untuk simpan. lepas tu jadik sampah. akhirnya buang. sayang. tapi nak buat camno. sobsobsob

ok topik seterusnya.

sepupu aku umur 10 thn n can already apply make up real well! sungguhpun aku masih dengan pendirian aku bahawa budak sekolah tak payah la sebok nak make up sebab kulit korang cantik lagi, tapi she kinda impressed me. passion la katakan. belajar dari youtube kot. siap ada set make up lagi. bukan set make up main-main. avon kot! make up dia macam member-member aku dah -.-" . siap dia boleh order avon kat member mak dia. omg so girly! tapi takpe. nnt raya dia boleh mekapkan. hehe.

2011-06-19T19:00:00.003+08:00

mungkin aku tak macam mereka-mereka yang berbalas komen & wall post untuk 4 bulan ni

sambil menekap fon ke telinga

atau menanti mesej mesra

ya aku tak

kali ini lain

sangat

betullah katanya

tak siapa duga

4 bulan

macam-macam boleh jadi

dalam 1 hari pun mungkin

tapi aku dah cukup bersyukur

untuk setiap saat yang berlalu

tanpa panggilan yang aku tak mahu dengar lagi

terasa kecil dan hinanya diri ini

semoga rasa ini kekal

sebab aku manusia mudah melupakan

2011-06-19T14:02:00.000+08:00

jangan salahkan aku marathon nora elena 3 hari berturut-turut sebab dah lama tak tgk telenovela best. HEHEHE

2011-06-17T23:50:00.002+08:00

agak-agaknya boleh ke orang jumpa dalam mimpi tak? as in, aku ngan kau tidur malam ni lepas tu kita dua-dua jumpa dalam alam roh dan bersembang-sembang.

boleh ke?

just curious. hehe.

2011-06-16T20:43:00.002+08:00

tido. makan. tido. makan.

taknak mcam ni... >.<

tadi saya dengar lagu.
saya teringat.
tapi tak dapat bagitau..

hari tu..
10 minit yang saya tak sanggup lalui lagi

saya tak suka..
sebab apa yang saya bayang terjadi betul-betul.
jangan jadi lagi
tolong jangan

Tuhan sedang cuba tunjukkan sesuatu pada saya
dan awak semua jugak

mari..
tadahkan tangan lagi...

2011-06-14T00:53:00.002+08:00

friendly reminder :

kawan-kawan, kalau dapat call dari number ni 0133221108, JANGAN ANGKAT. that's a PERVERT CALL. saya hampir kena. syukur saya tergerak nak letak fon cepat-cepat n google number ni. DIA TAK CAKAP APA-APA PUN. saya ingatkan kawan saya call guna number lain. ada sorang akak ni saya google, terkena benda ni. ok kalau korang tak sanggup nak mencemar kesucian telinga korang, let your phone rings away. tak pun suh abah kau ke laki kau angkat. biar si jantan tuh jadik gay pulak.

2011-06-13T09:23:00.002+08:00

kalau hanya berlari boleh sampai ke sana
dah lama aku pecut

tunggu..
dan tunggu lagi
detik dan berdetik
semalam, hari ini, esok
tertanya-tanya
...

tolonglah muncul
sekurang-kurangnya sekarang

layan wani ardy sampai emosi. cehhhh -.-

2011-06-12T13:00:00.003+08:00

saya tidur pagi tadi (sungguh tak elok)

kemudian mimpi

saya dan nenek makan di warung

saya order roti canai bungkus

nenek order mi goreng

nenek dapat dulu

dia makan

saya pulak tengok mamak yang bungkus roti saya

muka dia keji gila bila saya mintak kuah dhal

entah apa problem dia macam tak puas hati dengan saya

dah la dia bungkus kuah tuh dalam kertas je

apa pelik gila -.-

lepas tu tah camne dia buat magic

kuah dhal tu mengalir

tapi sekali mengalir ada mi

pastu saya terpaksa la telan semua mi tuh

dah la banyak

saya telan sekali harung

macam makan mi dalam anime

pelik

nama pun mimpi...

tapi kemudian saya rasa teruja

sebab bila saya bangun

kat atas meja ada

MEE HAILAM!

dalam mimpi pun tau mak masak apa. hihikkk ;P

2011-06-11T20:26:00.002+08:00

yes you can feel sorry for yourself.

but there's a fine line between enough and too much.

just put your limit...okay?

melebih-lebih sangat.

tolonglah.

takyah nak batak sangat ah.

selama nih takde pun aku menggelabah macam kau.

prrfftthhh.

huh. kan gua dah jadik kl.

on the other hand, i'm praying for everyone's wellness.

ceh citer everyone macam ayat miss universe la. bluekkk!

2011-06-10T19:13:00.001+08:00

jangan...

tolong jangan...

:'(

2011-06-09T20:31:00.002+08:00

panggil aku obses.

panggil aku paranoid.

tapi siapa yang tak terbayang macam aku bayang kalau macam ni? T_T

aku harap apa aku teka betul. jangan yang aku bayang.

amiinnnnn...

bila susah ingat Tuhan.

bila senang ingat apa?

heh. aku la tuh.

okay memandangkan blog nih sangat sugul walaupun publicly viewed, ini malam saya mahu cerita benda comel.

comel sampai rasa nak makan dalam-dalam. kehkehkeh

itu hari aku bersama si pembuli terhandal kesayangan ramai. tapi aku sayang jugak. sebab walaupun dia terlebih annoying berpusing-pusing lepas tu jalan senget-senget (-.-") bila terlebih gula, dia masih reti untuk make it up balik dengan aunty kesukaan dia (eceh perasan -.-)

aku : (lap badan dia)

dia : *peluk* saaaayaaaannnggg cimahh

aaaaaaaaa. cairrrr T_T

2011-06-09T00:30:00.002+08:00

masa untuk kembali.
seolah cerita 2 bulan setengah dulu berulang.
cuma kali ni bertukar pelakon, berubah lokasi, berlainan organ.
yang sama cuma aku.
statue of loserity.
aku ingat cerita abah.
aku mengerti kata abah.
tapi baru sekarang aku faham kata abah.
aku terlepas yang dulu.
tapi tetap tak dapat bersama yang sekarang.
hanya tahu untuk bersujud dan menadah tangan lagi.

robbi yassir wala tu'assir robbi tammim bil khoir

entry inspired by berat mata memandang berat lagi bahu memikul

2011-06-07T20:53:00.002+08:00

separuh daging terbang, separuh lagi merayu.

ini hari penat.

everyone's sweetheart bullied me real hard.

takpelah. dengan siapa lagi dia nak bermanja.

mata aku dah kuyu dari pagi lagi.

tapi daging memberontak.

terkilan. dari dulu macam ni.

yang aku mampu cuma berkata.

tapi lidah tak petah.

hanya mampu menadah.

menghadap Yang Maha Berkuasa.

semampu aku.

dan dan pulak aku baca status ni :

Sometimes Allah shows you signs by troubling you; because He wants you to come back to him. Open your eyes.

from marina's.

benar.

aku dah faham dan mengerti tindakan mak dengan abah hari tu.

tapi...

kenapa asyik pending ni.. :(

entry inspired by Manisnya Madu Pahitnya Hampedu

may everything goes on well. Insya Allah.

2011-06-03T20:56:00.002+08:00

kadang-kadang terfikir balik, mana satu decision aku yang betul, mana satu yang patut aku betulkan balik.. tapi dah lama-lama fikir aku jadi fed up. aku salahkan diri sendiri. bad judgement maybe. tapi bukan semua benda aku boleh control. terutamanya sekeping daging. kalau sistem manusia macam microsoft, ubuntu and whatnot, kan best. boleh hack diri sendiri. and manage the system the way we want it to be. delete virus. delete those trash yang penuhkan memory je. and speak as many language as we want.

merepek.

it is like a glass.

if you break it, it's hard to fix it again. and even if you manage to do so, it'll never be the same again.

perhaps it's wrong.

says who?

entry uninspired.

2011-06-02T21:29:00.003+08:00

aku tak nak komen banyak. tapi it is out of control sekarang. salah budak tu. tapi salah jugak masyarakat maya yang tak reti bagi nasihat secara baik. macam kalau kau nampak 50 ringgit tercicir atas lantai la kan. memang la salah orang yang tercicir tu sebab tak hati-hati, tapi salah jugak orang yang ambik duit tuh. see. it's the same situation. dan banyak lagi situasi yang dikategorikan dalam kisah 50 ringgit ni tapi tak semua orang perasan. aku tak nak salahkan sesiapa. dan aku tak rasa macam nak analisa situasi ni. as per yoozh, i'm the silent observer. dan aku tak cukup gila traffic untuk post nama budak tu kat sini. ye dia seorang budak. mentah. masih pendek akal. masih dalam rebel stage. macam kita semua dulu. dan mungkin sekarang ni masih lagi. dia masih boleh dilentur. just pray for a better future for her. kan lebih bagus.

tapi harian metroll buat citer kelakar pulak. hampir tertipu kejap aku. haha.

rupanya bukan aku sorang yang teringat cerita easy a. "OH YEAHHH!"

HAHA.

entry inspired by budah hebat sekarang fb fans dah sampai 7000+ (and still counting!)