i was wrong.
it's not another change that i need. indeed, i've been slacking and forgotten so much.

istiqomah is probably the next best solution. next to drugs treatment i mean. do they use drugs to cure such problems? i don't know. but don't doubt it either. modern meds are always associated with drugs. don't even know why they'd choose drugs than other natural resources. maybe meds practitioner should start going green with medicine. go green meds! *tetibe*

having a variety of interest might not be a bad things. perhaps i should manipulate myself into doing 10 things at once. ok maybe 2 at once. just the committing part is still under construction.

maybe, just maybe, learning to become istiqomah is learning about being committed.

i shall practice it now.

i don't know how anyone could stick to one thing forever. it bugs me. i'm not an adventurous person (at least not that i know of) but the longest time i could give attention to something isn't as long as i wish i would. take an example in a class. i could only focus for half an hour. it's worst if the teacher is drop dead boring. besides, i can't commit to any hobbies for a long time. back when i was in primary school, probably in standard 4, i wrote about me not having any hobbies. for an essay narrating about your hobby. i decided to write about me jumping from one hobby to another. end up teacher called me and says that i wrote the essay wrongly. didn't she knew that it was a cry for help? ish.

i think i have this being constant with something issue.

maybe i need a constant reminder. but how can i remind myself if i can't seem to stick to it for long?
a change. maybe?

or maybe i should just admit that i easily lose interest towards anything i remotely liked for some time.

here are some facts i learned last night :

i watched chalet girl.
the main character, johnny is ed westwick.
ed westwick is the name i've seen and heard many many times.
ed westwick is chuck bass.
chuck bass is the famous character in gossip girl.
chuck bass said this one famous tagline ends with "...then i won't be chuck bass."
ed westwick is gay.
or at least he potrayed as someone who is gay.

fin.

please.. please..
let it happen this time..
amiinn...

been looking forward to monday (just this once :3) but it's all ruined. by me. and me alone. isk iskkk.. kenot
krai.. kenot..

just finished a novel. kind of like the one i bought last year. just without the excruciating details of course. tapi cemane ni boleh terasa depressed sekali dengan character dalam cerita tu?!?! and it makes me feel even more guilty for ruining monday.

ya Rabb.. please please pleaaasseee let it happen this time..


maybe i'm turning into Emma, again.

Assalamualaikum & hi!

tiga.
tiga yang dulu lain.
antara sedar dan tidak.
Allah panggil kami pulangkan hati pada-Nya.

tiga.
tiga yang dulu lain.
antara geli dan geleman.

tiga.
aku ke saya.
kau ke awak.

tiga.
sebelah menyebelah hingga kejauhan.
renung-renung hingga dengar-dengar.

tiga.


Alhamdulillah..
atas segalanya.
(: